“Emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. The only difference between the two is with physical abuse you are wearing it on the outside for the world to see and the other is felt deep inside. Others cannot see the bruises on your heart.” – Larry James
If you’re landing on this page I’m guessing that you’re looking for knowledge on narcissists as you believe that you’re involved with a Narcissist and want to confirm your suspicions.
If you are anything like me you will read the list over and over as your crazy making relationship starts to make sense. Your partner may not fit all the characteristics below however if they fit most of the behaviours below you know that you are dealing with a narcissist and need to be cautious.
Leaving the relationship as soon as humanly possible would be advised as being in an emotionally or physically abusive relationship will result in long term emotional and psychological damage. However, when leaving a narcissist please be cautious they can be dangerous as they will try everything in their power to suck you back into the relationship with lies and false promises. Before you make your move ensure you have a support system in place and make contact with professionals for assistance if you feel that you could be in danger.
Common behaviours of a Narcissist are:
- They are very competitive and have to win at all costs. This can even be seen when they play board games with their children.
- They are highly opinionated and want things done their way. It is their way or the highway, and they may become very angry if things don’t go as planned.
- When they are insecure they become angry and verbally or physically abusive.
- They can become very angry very quickly. Living with them is like living with a time bomb of anger and you never know when it will go off.
- They experience fits of rage. This rage can be frightening and intimidating.
- They will intentionally “punish” other people when they feel offended or their wishes are not taken seriously.
- They have extreme mood swings which affect the people around them.
- They resist rules and regulations and have little regard for the law. If you ever try to divorce a narcissist it is best to be prepared with a good divorce attorney.
- Narcissists do not like to be controlled by anything or anyone. They don’t like to be controlled but they need to control those close to them.
- Have no conscience about lying. They are the most convincing of liars.
- Make false promises about the future which they have no intention of fulfilling. This keeps us hanging on for something that is promised in the future.
- They become very defensive and aggressive when confronted or called out on their behaviour. They don’t like to feel controlled in anyway.
- Narcissists like to gaslight or rewrite the past which results in people close to them feeling crazy or confused and doubting themselves.
- Have a propensity towards violent behaviour.
- They do not take responsibility for anything that may go wrong and like to blame others for their bad behaviour, this is known as projection.
- Lack compassion and empathy for others especially those close to them. If their behaviour hurts those close to them they have no conscience as they are able to find reasons and excuses to justify their behaviour.
- Like to be the centre of attention
- Wear a social mask. The person that they show the outside world is so different to the one that we see behind closed doors.
- Use bad language with those close to them, including the children.
- Socially they are very charismatic and charming.
- They like to play mind games and devalue their victims resulting in their victims suffering from trauma from the hurtful verbal abuse.
- Criticism of their partners is often brushed aside as a joke
- Extremely sensitive and defensive to criticism or jokes that may make them feel insecure.
- They like to discredit people to get more sympathy and attention from others , they like to play the victim.
- They use guilt and manipulation to control others
- Narcissists like to maintain control by manipulating, intimidating and threatening.
- Like to sabotage happy occasions and other peoples success.
- Find it very difficult to apologise for their hurtful behaviour
- Use charm and manipulation to get what they want
- Controlling others by manipulation makes them feel good about themselves
- Some narcissists are highly sexed and like pornography and dating sites
- They like attention from the opposite sex and believe that they are very desirable.
- Usually not faithful
- They are very secretive and you may feel that your partner has a double life.
Remember, knowledge gives you acceptance, and knowledge and acceptance gives you power!
The information included in this guide is for informational purpose only.
It is not intended to be used as a substitute for diagnosis or treatment of any illness.